Amazon link Written as a dialogue between a passionate but unhappy youth and a wise philosopher, this book takes on big questions like what it means to be happy, and how to live a meaningful life. It’s based on the work of psychologist Alfred Adler but you don’t need to know anything going in, as […]
Category: selfdesign
Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, by Terrence Real
Amazon link There is a path toward us, toward integration, connection, wholeness. And there is a path toward you and me, trauma, scarcity, selfishness. Choose connection. This book centers around a simple idea. When we were children, we adapted to our environment to get our emotional needs met. We used our parents as role models, […]
Practicing Celebration
Celebration is really hard for me. I used to feel that celebration is only for achieving something you didn’t expect to achieve, but after I’ve done something, I was clearly expected to have done it, so what is there to celebrate? Instead, I historically have pushed on to the next challenge. Yet researchers like BJ […]
2022 Year in Review
Another year is in the books, and, as usual, I want to take the opportunity to reflect on 2022, and set my intention for 2023. In last year’s reflection, I added self-care as a priority for myself along with family and coaching, and that went surprisingly well. I managed my commitments better, as I realized […]
Getting unstuck in your life and career
[11/20/22: Thanks for the feedback! The current version is in this Google doc, so please comment there moving forward] [11/9/22: This is a rough draft of what I hope will be the first chapter of the book I am writing. A lot of this material will be familiar to long-time blog readers, and I’ve linked […]
How to retrain your brain
I was talking to a friend about how to change our view of the world, and found myself coming up with a theory of how mystical woo woo advice like “be the change you want to see” or “manifest what you desire” actually might be scientifically explainable. Disclaimer: I am not a neuroscientist, and have […]
100 Hours
Show me your calendar, and I’ll show you what you value. Our most precious and irreplaceable resource is time. We have approximately 100 hours each week to spend after sleep and basic self-care. How we spend those 100 hours is an observable expression of our values and priorities that can often be at odds with […]
2021 Year in Review
2021 was quite a year. Let’s start this review post by listing off a few significant events in my priority areas of family and coaching: Our second child was born in the spring. She exhibits intense curiosity, with a desire to be where the action is – she has serious FOMO! Meanwhile, our first child […]
Spiritual debt
If we have a short-term cost to cover, we sometimes take on a loan to spread that cost over a longer period, and then make regular payments to pay off the monetary debt we owe. Engineering organizations have the concept of technical debt, where a feature is coded in a slipshod way to get it […]
Alignment to Reality
“Are you able to be with this exactly the way it is with no agenda to change it?” I learned this powerful question in Steve March’s Aletheia Coaching training, and it continues to knock my socks off as a tool to help me discover when I am not fully present and accepting of reality as […]
