As I have been doing more coaching over the last year, I have been seeing how some people tend to employ magical thinking. They believe that if they just think of what they want, then somehow it will magically happen. This is influenced by books like The Secret, which tout that visualizing what you want […]
Category: selfdesign
Flip your default
A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to fly away for a long weekend on a day’s notice (e.g. booking a cheap flight on Thursday to leave Friday morning). My immediate reaction was “I can’t do that! I have all these things I have to do! That’s crazy! It’s irresponsible!” So I decided not […]
What do you control?
After finding your way, how do you start moving towards your vision for yourself? I’ve been thinking a lot about that question, as people to whom I’m giving career advice say “I have this grand vision for myself, but I don’t know where to start.” The first step is to figure out what is in […]
Why don’t we change?
In my last post, I talked about how journaling helps you to discover patterns in yourself, and see what you’re actually doing as opposed to what you mean to be doing. In coaching, we call this gap between plans and action a breakdown, and a large part of coaching is how to deal with client […]
The Power of Journaling
I have become a fierce advocate of journaling over the past year, and keep recommending it to people, so, as is my habit, I’m now turning my thoughts into a blog post to make them easier to reference. I first got interested in journaling ten years ago after reading Becoming a Technical Leader, by Gerald […]
Finding your way
My last post talked about the exploration phase of figuring out what options are available vs. the selection phase when you choose what you’re going to do next. I mentioned the importance of paying attention in the exploration phase, to “be more critical in trying to tease apart the common patterns that make one option […]
Vulnerability as filtering
I’ve shared an idea several times recently, and people have been finding it useful, so I’m writing it up for the blog to make it easier to reference in the future. Let’s imagine that you’re in a situation where you are looking for a job. You have some ideas of what you want, but you’re […]
Purpose and meaning
I’ve been having several conversations recently about purpose and meaning, so I thought it was time for me to write a blog post to try to sort out my own fuzzy thoughts on the subject. What does it mean to have a purpose? Do we all have to have a purpose? Do people with a […]
Give and Take, by Adam Grant
Amazon link Book website Adam Grant’s TED talk on the subject Vince Lombardi, the famous football coach for whom the Super Bowl trophy is named, once said that “Nice guys finish last”. Adam Grant did a study to see how successful people were who habitually sacrificed themselves for others…and confirmed that a disproportionate number of […]
Small steps lead to big change
Continuing along the theme of the doubt tax, I’ve talked with several people over the past year who are looking for the secret to effectively change their lives. One example is people who want to change careers, and are looking for the secret to writing the right resume or learning the interview secrets that will […]
