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This weekend is Independence Day weekend in the US, and I'd love for you to reflect on what independence means to you. Is it:
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- having enough money so you don't have to work any more?
- choosing what you do each day?
- being free of family or social obligations that entangle you?
- having your basic needs (food, healthcare, housing) met?
It could be any of these. It could be all of these. It could be something else. But whatever it is, I want you to consider how you will work towards that independence? What's your plan?
I am starting to frame independence for myself as taking responsibility for my choices. I can do what I want...if I am willing to accept the consequences. I don't "have to" do anything, even though I often feel like I do.
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- I don't "have to" work each day...if I'm willing to live without income.
- I don't "have to" take care of my kids...if I'm wiling to abandon my family.
- I don't "have to" satisfy other people's requests...if I'm willing to have them no longer like me.
- I don't "have to" exercise...if I'm willing to accept a body that is not functioning as well as it could.
Independence for me is making choices and living with the consequences. I become more free when I let go of my preconceptions of what I think "should" happen. Instead, I am learning to accept my current situation as it is (not as I want it to be), and then consciously decide what to do next based on what I choose to value.
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If you want a more in-depth exploration of this topic, check out my book, You Have A Choice: Beyond Hard Work to Meaningful Impact, on sale at Amazon for only $2.99 for the Kindle edition.
Admittedly, I have a lot of privilege and don't have to experience the headwinds of living in a system that is structured against me. I'll let others who face such bias comment on whether such a framing of independence resonates with them.
What does independence mean for you?
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And now for the normal personal development content…
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Blog: I read Peter Attia's Outlive: The Science And Art Of Longevity as part of preparing for my 50th birthday and wrote up my takeaways on the blog. I don't think you need to read the book as there's nothing too surprising, but I used it as a spur to start some habits that I had been putting off, including more strength training, and eating healthier with more protein and veggies, and less carbs.
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LinkedIn: These are ideas that have helped my clients (or myself), and that I share via LinkedIn to help a wider audience, and archive here.
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- Jealousy is a great signal, as it tells us what we really want. We get jealous of people who have something we want, and would never be jealous of somebody whose life isn't appealing to us. So pay attention to your jealousy to learn what might be missing from your life.
- Daily habits that lead to better long-term decisions. One of the challenges about being an executive is that you don’t get immediate feedback, as you may not see the results from a decision you make as an executive for months if not years. Instead, adopt daily practices that lead to better decisions: take care of yourself, slow down and listen, say the hard thing, and focus on the process.
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A few articles that caught my attention recently on the topics of wellness and resilience:
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- Anne Helen Petersen interviewing Soraya Chemaly about her new book, The Resilience Myth. Chemaly asserts that our culture overvalues individual resilience (grit, independence, perseverance) and undervalues collective resilience where we can rely on our community to support us. "Resilience is a dynamic process and it is healthier and more accurate to say that we take turns being resilient for one another." because none of us can always handle everything by ourselves.
- How We Get Through This, by Ijeoma Oluo, who shares how dire the situation is in the United States, while also imploring us to keep fighting for what is right. I particularly liked her points to "Strengthen your community connections: You are going to need people. Build friendships and connections based on community care.", to take care of yourself through hobbies, meditation and therapy, and to "Cultivate Joy: How we live matters. Every day that we choose joy, that we choose justice, that we choose respect, that we choose connection, that we choose care - every day that we make these loving choices in the face of oppression and exploitation, WE ARE WINNING." Check out her book Be A Revolution for the background of her thinking here.
- That Afternoon Headache is a Sign, by the Raw Signal Group, which shares a research result that "Cognitive function scores were 15% lower for the moderate CO2 day (~ 945 ppm) and 50% lower on the day with CO2 concentrations of ~1,400 ppm". After reading the article, I immediately bought their recommended CO2 sensor and learned that CO2 in our bedrooms spikes to 800 or 900 at night when we close the windows - a newly built well-insulated house doesn't have leaks! We'll have to find ways to get more circulation.
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Thanks for reading! See you in a couple weeks!
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This is the Too Many Trees newsletter, where I share what I’ve been writing and reading in the realm of leadership and personal development. My executive coaching practice is centered around the idea that we are more effective in moving towards our goals when we become more conscious and intentional in focusing our time and attention, and learn how our unconscious patterns are holding us back. If you know somebody that could benefit from my perspective, please forward this to them or let them know they can set up a free intro chat with me.
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