The same people
Posted: July 31, 2006 at 11:24 pm in community, people ~ Permalink ~ TrackBack

Adrian was in town, so he called an impromptu Power Dinner of the New York TEPs. Mim and Qwidjibo and I showed up, as did a couple of Adrian’s other friends. First of all, it was at Hallo Berlin, which may have just moved to the top of my favorite restaurants in Manhattan. Awesome German beers, and great bratwurst (and other kinds of wurst) (although they were out of spaetzle which was a great disappointment - next time).

Anyway, by the end of the evening, and influenced by beer, the TEPs had degenerated, as always, into telling stories about their time at TEP. And one thing struck us while we were exchanging stories - that the stories, in some sense, remain the same. As is becoming more usual, I never overlapped with these folks at TEP, and yet, the stories were all familiar (and not just because I remain on the various TEP mailing lists). It’s always about our ridiculously intelligent brethren pulling some astonishingly stupid moves, setting themselves or the house on fire, embarrassing themselves in front of guests, or other similar exploits. The nice thing is that the stories are timeless - we could each project them onto the people we actually lived with and imagine them happening.

It reminds me of what I said in my post about ultimate frisbee culture: “It’s all different people than the ones I played with in SF, but yet they’re all the same.” The community binds people together strongly enough that the stories are all self-similar in some fractal sense. The names may change, but the people and the community remain the same, so the stories achieve immortality. I told stories about food fights, others told stories about unfortunate eating exploits, and I heard about the crickets for the first time which was awesome.

I feel like there’s some principle in here about building community that I’d like to pursue further. It’s not just about binding people together with a big picture mission statement. It’s about creating the opportunities for stories to bind people together, to generate the (not-quite-so) epic myths that create the reflexive vision of the community. And it’s not just about spending time together, as Beemer rightly pointed out - a connection exists because of the transitive nature of strong ties (huh - I’d never really considered that before, but it makes sense that strong ties would be transitive whereas weak ties definitely are not). I’ll have to come back and pick this up sometime when my brain cells are not impaired.

A very pleasant evening all told. I’m definitely going back to Hallo Berlin - only 10 blocks away from my place!

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  1. Adrian commented on August 1st, 2006 at 12:02 am :

    I love that you posted about this even already…

    LOVE IT.

    Yeah, Hallo Berlin is a definite winner and it was a good time. Thanks for coming out.

  2. Bats commented on August 1st, 2006 at 1:28 am :

    Dude! We totally need to go there next time I’m in town! And have spaetzel!

    Hmmm.. we need to explore the Joseph-Campbell style recurrent archetypal Tep mythos.

    Speaking of transitive relationships, Beemer got to briefly meet Julee; I’m sure that this observation will hold; I was trying to figure out various overlap sets between the two of them.

  3. Rebar commented on August 1st, 2006 at 10:14 am :

    Yeah… when Christie and I stayed in the guest room last fall, I was stunned at how much it still felt like home, despite a brand new crop of brothers barely half my age. I would stop in the foyer and become honestly puzzled that my mailbox was missing.

  4. Eric Nehrlich, Unrepentant Generalist || Patterns, stories and communities || December || 2006 commented on December 30th, 2006 at 3:09 pm :

    [...] One of the reasons we often struggle with integrating into a new group or community is that they don’t share the same references as us. So the stories require extra explanation for them to make sense. It takes time before we learn the back history and meet the people of the group so that we can appreciate the stories. But once we become fully integrated, we have taken ownership of the community stories as our own stories, and it almost doesn’t matter whether we witnessed the story or not. The same stories get told about the same people, even if the names keep changing. [...]

  5. Eric Nehrlich, Unrepentant Generalist || My favorite things to do in New York || August || 2008 commented on August 28th, 2008 at 5:08 pm :

    [...] beer garden with sausages and beer. I really liked it for hosting large gatherings of people (as I was introduced to it), but I’ve had a couple reports of bad service recently from friends, so it may have gone [...]

 

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