Solving hurricanes

Posted: September 21, 2005 at 10:41 pm in misc, politics

As the second hurricane in a month is building up power over the overheated Gulf of Mexico, this is my projection as to what President Bush may be thinking:

Well, the problem is that the water in the Gulf is too warm. Too warm. Too warm. Hrm. How do we cool water that is too warm? We use ice cubes! We need to put ice into the Gulf to cool it down so that there will be no more hurricanes and I stop getting bad press!

Ice. Huh. Where can I get ice? Wasn’t I talking about ice recently with Karl? Oh yeah, we were talking about that place in Alaska with the oil, what’s it called, the, um, Arctic National Wildlife Refuge? There’s ice there – I remember my oil buddies complaining about how hard it would be to get to the oil with the ice in the way.

Wait a second! I have it! If I take the ice from the refuge, and use it to cool the Gulf waters, I’ll help my oil buddies AND look good to the voters! I’m a genius!!

If this is one of those times when my cynicism gets matched by reality, I’ll definitely weep for America.

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